When Marriage Becomes Content: How Social Media Distorts Roles, Love, and the Morality of the Ummah

Marriage in Islam is not merely a social contract — it is a sacred covenant. Allah ﷻ describes it as a bond of tranquility, mercy, and love:

“And among His Signs is this: that He created for you spouses from among yourselves, that you may find tranquility in them, and He placed between you love and mercy. Verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.” (Qur’an 30:21)

But in today’s world, social media has transformed marriage into something very different. What was meant to be private, sincere, and spiritually uplifting has become content for public consumption. Likes, views, and validation have begun to replace sincerity, mercy, and commitment.

This article examines how social media is reshaping the meaning of marriage, undermining the roles of men and women, normalizing degeneracy, and weakening the moral foundation of the ummah. We will also reflect on Islamic principles that can restore balance and bring barakah back into our homes.

1. Marriage in Islam: A Covenant of Rights and Responsibilities

In Islam, marriage is built on complementarity, not competition. Men and women are equal in value before Allah but different in roles and responsibilities.

Men are qawwamun (protectors and maintainers) (Qur’an 4:34). Leadership here means service, responsibility, and accountability before Allah.
Women are honored with dignity and protection, their modesty and spiritual role in nurturing the next generation elevated as a trust (amanah).
The Prophet ﷺ said: “The best of you are those who are best to their wives.” (Tirmidhi)

Thus, marriage is not about domination or rivalry, but about mercy, partnership, and fulfilling distinct roles in harmony.

2. How Social Media Rewrites the Script

Social platforms have subtly changed the script of marriage in multiple ways:

Public performance replaces private sincerity: Couples display curated moments for the world, but neglect private sincerity. Riya (showing off) replaces ikhlas (sincerity).
Validation economy: Marital happiness is measured by likes, not by taqwa and character.
Algorithmic extremity: Platforms reward conflict and drama, making disrespect between spouses “content.”
Swipe culture and endless comparison: The constant exposure to alternatives breeds dissatisfaction.
Romance as spectacle: Weddings, proposals, anniversaries — once intimate and modest — are now choreographed events for content, often leading to debt and stress.

3. The Collapse of Roles and Responsibilities

Social media’s narratives often pit men and women against one another.

Men misled by red-pill culture: Leadership becomes control or ego, rather than responsibility and mercy.
Women pressured into performance: Constant posting, beauty standards, and lifestyle comparisons erode haya (modesty) and inner contentment.
From complementarity to competition: Instead of being garments for one another (Qur’an 2:187), spouses begin to compete for attention, validation, or dominance.

The result is marriages without true partnership — fragile, easily broken, and lacking barakah.

4. Normalization of Degeneracy

The Prophet ﷺ said: “Every religion has a distinct characteristic, and the distinct characteristic of Islam is modesty.” (Ibn Majah)

But modesty is exactly what social media erodes.

Haya weakens as casual indecency, exposure, and flirtation become normalized.
Spiritual diseases grow: envy, arrogance, and vanity are constantly fueled by comparison.
Privacy collapses: Couples publicize private disputes for sympathy or clout.
Entertainment from sin: Zina, mockery of family life, and “toxic relationship” humor become trending topics.

These patterns corrode the moral foundation of the ummah and numb the heart to sin.

5. Real-World Outcomes in the Ummah

We see the impact already:

Delayed marriages: The culture of extravagance pushes marriage later.
Fragile unions: Unrealistic expectations — shaped by curated feeds — lead to early divorces.
Addictions corrode intimacy: From endless scrolling to pornography, attention is drained away from real spouses.
Mental health struggles: Anxiety, insecurity, and dissatisfaction flourish in the shadow of comparison culture.

In Malaysia, for instance, divorce rates have increased significantly in the last decade, with many citing financial pressure and unrealistic expectations. Social media is not the only cause, but it fuels the fire.

6. The Islamic Corrective: Returning to Balance

Islam provides timeless guidance that directly addresses these distortions.

Tawhid and intention: Marriage should be for Allah, not for the audience. Purify the niyyah.
Guard haya and the gaze: Qur’an 24:30–31 reminds both men and women to lower their gaze and protect modesty. This extends to our online life.
Simplicity in weddings: The Prophet ﷺ said: “The most blessed marriage is the one with the least expenses.” (Bayhaqi)
Leadership as service: Men are protectors and providers, not dictators. Women are nurturers and partners, not competitors.

When lived sincerely, these principles restore the tranquility and mercy that Allah promised in marriage.

7. Practical Steps for Families

Digital discipline: No devices in bedrooms, set boundaries for social media use.
Weekly shura nights: Spouses should meet, discuss, and realign their relationship.
Feed curation: Unfollow accounts that fuel dissatisfaction, replace them with knowledge and inspiration.
Daily anchors: Pray together, make dua for each other, share Qur’an recitation — build spiritual intimacy.
Community solutions: Support simple weddings, offer premarital counseling, create safe spaces for young Muslims to find spouses without falling into haram.

Conclusion

Social media has turned marriage from a covenant into content, stripping away sincerity, modesty, and responsibility. But Islam offers the corrective — a return to simplicity, mercy, and balance.

If the ummah is to heal, it must start in the home. Our marriages must reflect the Qur’an’s vision: tranquility, love, and mercy, not performance, competition, and spectacle.

The Prophet ﷺ warned: “The world is but provision, and the best provision of the world is a righteous woman.” (Muslim)

It is time we guard this provision, protect our families, and rebuild marriages that are blessed with barakah — not followers.